A Climate Change
For the past week North Carolina has been experiencing some amazing weather. If you didn’t know better you would think that we were right in the middle of March. As you walk around my yard you will notice that the weather change is not only confusing us but my plants as well. I noticed just this weekend that my bulbs were starting to bloom and I have the prettiest yellow flowers popping up everywhere, it is not just my crocus but my hydrangeas and blueberry bushes are sprouting new growth. These poor guys have no idea that we are just entering February and that they should have stayed in the ground a few more weeks. As a result of the confusion they have been hit with some pretty frosty nights the last couple of days and I am a little concerned that they will not fully bloom. I can’t help but also worry about what kind of effect this is going to have on my entire garden in the next few months.
Change, especially sudden change, has never been an easy thing for me. I am a creature of habit and I enjoy that about me. I live by my schedule and when things happen and cause me to have to stray from that schedule I get frazzled, I start to stress out and I get real bitchy. I have no idea where this comes from and what makes me this way but I own it. It has taken my husband years to understand my NEED for structure but after countless arguments and tears he gets it and has fully accepted it.
A few months ago I mentioned briefly about going back to work. I was contacted through a headhunter who found my portfolio online and felt I would be the perfect person for this contract job. It was right around Christmas and the thought of having 2 incomes coming in made JoJo and I very excited.
It was a perfect opportunity.
The contract was for 2 months and after that they would open it up to permanent status. This would give me a chance to test out the idea of becoming a Work Out Of The Home Mom. If I loved it I could apply for the position in January and if I hated it I could gracefully walk away. Then 2 weeks ago the company made the announcement that they would be laying off the entire graphics department, except for the freelancers and the contract employees. This now meant that I had no option to go permanent and I was placed in an awkward position; I could still walk away but I would leave them helpless or I could stick around and each week I would be notified on whether I would be needed the following week. To say being in this position sucks is an understatement.
JoJo’s income plus my business income pays the bills. We weren’t hurting for anything but this job is allowing us to pay off debt and build a nice little nest egg. It is giving us the opportunity to plan family vacations, put Aubrey in dance classes and buy stuff that we want and not necessarily need. So we decided that I would stay on a few more months.
Since I am not guaranteed that I will have this job in a month or even a week we cannot really commit to putting her into daycare, even if I wanted to do that. On the days that she does not have school my mom watches her, that is 3 days a week. My mom lives about 40 minutes away from me and I hate the idea of her spending so much money on gas or having to get up so early to get to my house. To help my mom out we have been sending Aubrey to spend the night at her house on the nights she does not have school As a result, Aubrey is home on weekends and 2 nights a week.
Neither Aubrey or I love our current situation. We both struggle everyday with being away from each other. She cries when I walk out the door and I cry as I drive to work. She refuses to let me out of her sight and even sits in the bathroom with me as I take my nightly showers. She has become scared of the dark, she is acting up and refusing to listen, she insists that I do everything for her and refuses to let JoJo do anything. Other moms are telling me “Oh don’t worry she will get used to it, this is just her way of dealing with the change.” I keep asking myself what this sudden change is going to do to her long term. What is it going to do me? I struggle with trying to maintain my business and keep it growing. I struggle with balancing the job, with the business, with the husband, with the kid. Is it selfish of me to want the extra money? Would it be more selfish of me to ask my family to live on a budget so I can be home with her and have my own business?
I would love to hear your thoughts. Are you a working mom? Are you a stay at home mom? Do you have experience with any of this. . . .
3 Comments for this entry
Jenn
Shirley,
As I’m writing this, I may be answering the question, but in order for you to get work done at home, does Aubrey have to be out of the house? I know you’re pretty efficient in the multi-tasking department, but I also realize how demanding preschoolers can be.
I’ll just throw this out to you and see if it sticks….. My daughter was home from college this weekend. She has been looking for a job on campus since school began in September. Alas, all the “good jobs” were snatched up in the summer, or the students who had jobs from the previous year kept them and continued them into the next school year. Kind of like the real world, right?
My daughter actually has quite a few of her classes during the evening (Freshman get to register last you know), which leaves her days for studying and sleeping. (Anything else, I don’t want to know, LOL). If she had the opportunity to be a Nanny for someone during her daytime hours – even 2 days a week – she would be able to make some money and still go to her classes. Did I mention she is FABULOUS with kids?
So I guess the only thing left to do is transfer my daughter to NC State, right? =)
Obviously, hiring a college student even on a part-time basis would require a fair amount of screening, but I wanted to give you an “out of the box” suggestion you may not have been thinking of. It has been my experience that college students work for less money than the average Joe, actually appreciate the gift of Ramen noodles and have enough energy to last when mine gives out.
Best of luck my dear. I will be praying for your family and the brightest resolution!
))Hugs((
Jenn
Shirley - Wild Blueberry Ink
THANK YOU both so much for responses. I guess no matter what situation, location, etc all moms go through the same struggles.
Jen when will that transfer take place 
Go Wolfpack!
Wendy N
Wow I can see how frustrating this is for you and the not knowing if you were working the next week would drive me nuts. You are the only one that can make the decision of what to do and whatever you decide will be the right one! Never look back and no regrets!
When I became pregnant and then had my son I had planned on going back to work after my maternity leave…I couldn’t do it. I held him in my hands when he was six weeks old and I just couldn’t give his care over to someone else.
When he was a year old I decided to go back to my job. I, thankfully, found a wonderful woman to watch him in a neighborhood right next to where I worked. He loved this woman and she loved him, all was good.
But when he turned two I realized as I worked more and more hours I was missing out on something. I hated not being with him all the time, I wanted to raise my son. (I’m the type of person that once I make a decision I go with it, no regrets, full steam ahead) I talked with my husband and we looked at our finances and we both decided in the best interest of our family that I would stay home. My job was stressful and it was impacting our family. There are a lot of things we don’t do or don’t buy. I don’t get to travel like I use too. We want to build a house on some property that we have but instead of it happening NOW…it’s got pushed back a couple of years, eventually it will get done.
But in the mean time (my son is 8 now) I get to spend an awesome amount of time with him and not be stressed out. I love the feeling of being free from stress. A happy stress free Momma makes for a happy Husband and child, another words a Happy family. I volunteer at his school and he loves seeing me at school. If I want to go eat lunch with him at school I do, the mornings before school are relaxed and stress free.
I am so thankful to my husband who works long hours away from home to give me this opportunity to be home with my son. I will never regret leaving a great job when he was 2 to stay home with him. I remember growing up (I lived with my Aunt and Uncle) getting off the bus and my Aunt was always there with a snack and ready to hear about my day, loved that. Made me feel loved and truly cared about. Before that my Mother stayed home with me until I started first grade and I remember all the fun times we had. Our children are our future and I know I made the right decision, my son is happy and it shows.
I have several friends that tried to stay home with their children and couldn’t do it. They work and their family is okay with it and everyone adjusted to it. I think when I decided enough is enough and stayed home it took me 3 months to adjust. I climbed the walls. I had never not worked before and it was a big adjustment for me to have to rely on my husband to take care of me and pay my bills. But he was very supportive and had no problems with it, it was me, lol. Will I go back to work? Maybe some day. I’ve honestly been thinking about substitute teaching at my sons school or possibly taking a few classes at the local college to brush up on my skills. But for the moment I am enjoying my son and watching him grow. When he is a teen he may push me away and then it will be time for me to let him fly and for me to start a new chapter in my life…”Full steam ahead and no regrets”!